Sexiness ~ Putting it All Together Adds up to Sexy You!


Now that you have a better idea of the ingredients of what sexy is to you, how do you go about cultivating yours?  Other than what’s been discussed, what are the elements of sexiness that ring true for you? What does your deep inner wisdom know about this?

Here are some practices to begin cultivating your personal Sexiness Strategy. Feel free to use any that resonate with you, to ignore those that don’t, and to add any that come to mind. You get to create this in the perfect way for you.

  1. Make a list of what you love about you and what is solid and consistent about you.
  2. Determine what’s important to you and what’s not at this point in your life to reveal your truths and convictions.
  3. Decide to embody and live by your truths and convictions without ever having to speak about them to anyone else.
  4. Look into your eyes in the mirror and see the light in your eyes. If you don’t see it or feel it immediately, do the mirror practices described in an earlier blog, “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall” from November 3.
  5. Make your Love Jar: take a pad of paper or a stack of index cards. Begin with at least 20. On each one, write one thing that you love about yourself or believe about you in a positive way. It could be things like “I love my generosity of spirit”, “I love that I see the goodness in every person I encounter”, “I love my sense of hope,” and so on. Without editing the list, just keep going until you have written at least 20 things that you love about you. Once you have completed the list, review it and notice how you feel as you read each statement. Do you feel rock solid about it? If not, could you with a little more belief in you? Do you need to change the words to make it feel rock solid? If so, do it.

Put the statements in a “love jar” that you decorate in whatever way you wish. Every day, pull out one of the statements and make it a practice to “be” that for the day.

  1. Begin to train your thoughts to align with the belief that you are sexy and desirable, on your terms. When you find yourself thinking negatively about yourself, consciously choose to think about what you love about you. Over time, as you strengthen this way of thinking, you may notice that people are drawn to you, want to be around you, feel seen and accepted by you.
  2. Remember that sexy has nothing to do with showing your breasts or coming on to others in an artificial way. It’s all about your confidence – belief in your personal qualities and things you love about yourself, embodying your principles and beliefs without needing anyone else to conform to your beliefs, being in integrity with who you know yourself to be, and the twinkle in your eye and energy that radiates from you when you live this way.

Once you’ve created your own Sexiness Strategy, take action. Simply thinking about this won’t change a thing. Do something daily and before you know it, you’ll be well on your way to knowing that you are sexy and desirable. Congratulations! Please comment here or send me an email ~ I’d love to know your experience with this!

© 2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to

This blog does not reflect the opinions of The Pink Fund, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisors or Volunteers.  It is not meant to serve as medical advise of any kind.  Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for The Pink Fund without compensation.

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