Intimacy and Sexual Energy Part 2


Last time you experimented with gazing into your sweetheart’s eyes and breathing together. Taking the time to slow down and really “be with” each other can be magical. Let’s take it a step further…

Make some time when you can be together and relax. Play some soft background music if you like, or light a candle. Agree that this is a time for sacred energy exchange and that your intention is to be intimate, close and loving.

Sit facing each other with your heads are about 12-18 inches apart, whatever distance feels right to see each other clearly and feel close and intimate. Look into each other’s eyes, hold hands and take several deep breaths together as you begin to relax. As you sit and gaze and breathe, notice your heart opening. After several deep breaths, one of you ask for permission to gently stroke your sweetheart’s face by saying something like, “May I stroke your face, honey?” When they say yes, gently reach out both hands and begin to gently stroke their face. The intention of your touch is to convey your love to your sweetheart. It’s not about massage or erotic touch but rather simple kindness and love. As you stroke their face, notice the different textures to their skin, how different their lips feel from their eyebrows and so on. Be curious and tenderly explore their face. If they wear glasses, ask if you can remove them so that you can stroke their entire face.  This may feel a bit awkward at first because we don’t usually touch each other in this way ~ usually touch is a prelude to sex. This is touch with no agenda other than kindness and intimacy.

As you receive this loving touch, relax, breathe and know that you deserve to be loved and touched like this.  Allow yourself to drink in the nourishment of this tender touch and let it fill that place in you that yearns to be touched.

After a few minutes, gently switch so that the one who was stroking now receives the loving touch of the other. Ask permission to stroke your sweetie’s face, and then gently caress their face.

After a few minutes, both of you cup your partner’s face in your hands and look into each other’s eyes and breathe together. As you look into their eyes, look for the innocent little one, the wise one, the tender one, and the one who might feel awkward or afraid. Make room for all the facets that you see and continue to look and breathe. After several breaths, complete the touch with a gentle kiss on their forehead.

Close your eyes and take a moment to reflect on what you just experienced. Did you like it? Was it uncomfortable? Was it easier for you to give by stroking or to receive, or about the same? What are your feelings? Open your eyes and take a few minutes to share your experience. As you speak, be open and truthful, knowing that your sweetheart will do the same. As you listen, open your heart as well as your ears. When you’ve finished speaking, hug each other and thank each other for this tender time of connecting.

When we’re kind with each other, the doors to intimacy open wide. Try this face stroking a few times a week for the rest of the month and see what, if anything, opens up between you.

© 2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
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This blog does not reflect the opinions of The Pink Fund, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisors or Volunteers.  It is not meant to serve as medical advise of any kind.  Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for The Pink Fund without compensation.

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