Report from C4YW


C4YW logoLast weekend I gave 2 workshops at the C4YW conference ~ “Bring Back Your Sexy After Breast Cancer.” The attendance was SRO! I offered 10 Tools and Power Tools for Bringing Back Your Sexy. During the next 10 weeks I’ll share one a week with you. If you do these practices you will experience a profoundly positive shift in your intimate and sexual life. Even if you only do one, you’ll get the goodies.

#1. Mirror Practices. The first step is to reconnect with and love yourself. Many of us dissociate during treatment as a coping strategy. Then we forget that we’re gone and don’t know how to come back. This practice helps.

First, commit to doing this practice daily for at least 30 days, as research shows that it takes 25-60 days to embed a new pattern or habit. It takes about 5 minutes and you’ll need a mirror (handheld or full length), a timer, a box of tissues and your journal. If you can do it at the same time every day it helps, but that’s not necessary. It just makes it a little easier. I do it just after my shower in the morning.

Set the timer for 5 minutes. Look into your eyes in the mirror and take a few deep breaths. Really look into your eyes and connect with you. Most of us don’t do this, so it can feel awkward at first. As you look, what do you see in your eyes? Is it hard to connect with yourself? Are you tempted to primp ~ check your teeth for food, rearrange your hair? Resist the temptation to do this and simply look into your eyes, and call upon your love and compassion for you as you do this.

After a few deep breaths, say these words out loud to you,” I love you (your first name)”. Continue to breathe, look into your eyes and repeat the words. Continue until the timer rings. Then take a few moments and make some notes in your journal about what you experienced or noticed.

You may notice that your thoughts get very loud and say things like,

“There’s nothing lovable about you.”
“ This is stupid/a waste of time/BS, etc.”
“I do NOT love me.”

Or some other variation on this theme. You may cry. You may want to look away. The practice is designed to bring up everything that is in the way of you loving you, because most of us don’t love ourselves.

Stick with this practice and you’ll notice that your experience will begin to shift, usually around 2 or 3 weeks into it.  Then you will begin to fall in love with you. This is the foundation for everything that follows.

Do the practice daily. If you miss a day, begin at Day One again. It takes consistent consecutive practice to create the new neural pathway in your brain, which is what it takes to embed a new pattern or habit.

© 2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to

This blog does not reflect the opinions of The Pink Fund, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisors or Volunteers. It is not meant to serve as medical advise of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for The Pink Fund without compensation.

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