The Third Tool


Continuing with the 10 Tools and Power Tools for Bringing Back Your Sexy After Cancer:

#3. Change the Station

Screen Shot 2013-03-15 at 11.40.04 AMOur minds run a constant barrage of thoughts, judgments, criticisms and opinions, most of them subconscious. Research shows that we humans think an average of 60,000 thoughts per day, and that only 5-10% of them are conscious. The rest are repetitive, often negative and can prevent our growth or evolution. Some people call this the inner critic ~ that voice that may be now saying, “Critic? What voice? Not me!” Personally I have an inner board of naysayers!

Most of these thoughts were absorbed when we were little, before we were able to filter out what was true and what wasn’t. Children are like little sponges and pick up everything, internalize it and make it “the truth.” Then we think that this is just the way life is. These are thoughts like,

“You’re too fat, too skinny, ugly, not pretty enough, not good enough…”
“You’ll never amount to anything so don’t even try.”
“You get what you deserve.”

On and on the thoughts go. When breast cancer comes into the picture, all our unconscious beliefs about cancer, breasts, beauty, sexiness, femininity and worthiness come up loud and clear. It’s very easy to begin to feel like “damaged goods” or somehow not attractive or less than a woman.

Consciously working with and changing our thoughts is a big part of healing, especially about who we are as gorgeous and sexy women. I call this changing the station. The ongoing stream of judgment and criticism is like a nonstop radio station playing in our head, the station with the call letters K-FUK ~ all criticism all the time. The idea is to consciously create a new station with the call letters K-LUV ~ all love all the time.

How to do this? Begin by becoming conscious of the steady stream of disempowering or negative thoughts. Every time you become aware of one, literally stop, breathe and think a loving thought. It could be something like

“I love you (your name)”
“You are beautiful.”
“My body is my temple and I adore my temple.

Intention and repetition are the keys to this. What you are doing is creating a new neural pathway in your brain. Over time you will succeed and you will notice that the overall quality of your thoughts changes. As with the mirror practices, as you love yourself more and know that you are gorgeous and desirable, that’s what you will feel inside and project into the world.

© 2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
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This blog does not reflect the opinions of The Pink Fund, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisors or Volunteers. It is not meant to serve as medical advise of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for The Pink Fund without compensation.

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