End of Year Romantic and Intimate Planning


Sexy after Cancer, Barbara Musser, cancer and intimacy, breast cancer and sexuality, pleasure plan, cancer and love, intimacy after cancer

This time of year is a wonderful time to review the year that is ending and envision for the coming year. While you may have done this before with goals you may not have done this in the areas of romance and intimacy. Ready for a new twist?

Plan an evening solo or with your sweetheart. Set the stage with some music you love, candles, a glass of wine or cider and some uninterrupted time. Grab a journal and a pen so you can make some notes.

Sit down, relax and take some deep breaths as you gently close your eyes. With your eyes closed, review the year that is ending, through the lens of intimacy and romance. What did you experience that felt intimate or romantic? Reflect back and remember specific events, experiences, words or feelings that come to mind when you think of intimacy and romance.

What happened that brought you pleasure? What would you like to experience more of or less of? What would make you feel more intimate or romantic? These memories can be small events, even a glance or a gesture, a moment of flirtation, a special embrace, all the way up to a weekend getaway just for you. Take your time as you reflect on the year. Make some notes in your journal as things come to mind. If you are doing this with your partner, tell each other what comes to mind for you and capture all the moments.

When you complete your review of the year, go through your notes and circle or underline the things that you want to continue in the new year. Start a new page in the journal for 2014 and title it “Romance and Intimacy 2014” or whatever title appeals to you.

Transfer the circled or underlined items to this new page. Then close your eyes and envision what would have the new year feel intimate and romantic to you. Get creative and ask your heart, mind and spirit for inspiration. Make notes as you get ideas and inspiration and talk with each other about what you want to create.

If you need some help, complete this sentence with each other: “ I feel loved when…” and do some brainstorming. Write down all the ideas without editing them. Once you have compiled a list, go back and circle the items that appeal most to you. You can sort items by giving them an “A”, “B” or “C” rating, with “A”  being those that have the highest appeal.

Take your notes for the New Year and make a Pleasure Plan. Take 1 or 2 “A” items and agree to do these at least once a week. You can also mix in the “B” and “C” items. It’s fine to repeat items as well. Or you can focus on 1 or 2 items a month. The idea is to create a plan that will work for you and ensure that you have many intimate and romantic times.

Something that works for many is to have a weekly date. Put it in your calendar and treat it as important as any other appointments you make. It’s important to put these dates in your calendars because life is so busy that it’s easy to let romance slip in the midst of too many other priorities. Many people make it at the same time every week so that they create the habit of a weekly date. My sweetheart and I have a weekly Tuesday night date, which we keep even if one of us is traveling ~ when that happens, we’re on the phone or Skype together doing something romantic. We are committed to our weekly dates.

Let us know what your Pleasure Plan is so that we can all learn and be inspired! And here’s to you and your pleasure.

© 2013 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of The Pink Fund, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisers or Volunteers. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for The Pink Fund without compensation.

Leave a comment


  1. These are great ideas for now as well as the new year. Rekindling romance, intimacy and sex into your life requires action and even planning. Spice it up, shake it up but do not give it up.


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