Pleasure Possibilities Part 4


Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer, cancer and forgiveness, cancer and love, breast cancer and pleasure, choosing love after cancer

Continuing with pearls of pleasure, today’s pearl for opening to more pleasure and love is about letting go of the past and starting anew. We can’t change what has happened and we will never be the same. And we can always begin again.

This is not the same as a second chance if things have gone awry between you. This is absolutely knowing that there is no going backwards. So this is where things now begin new, from this moment on.

You may need to grant amnesty or forgive. These are ways to release what may have caused you pain or regret. Maybe it’s what was done to survive; or that things were fumbled in finding the way. Dates and numbers may have been forgotten. They were late. You couldn’t make it work out well. We want what we want and we’re human, perfectly imperfect and almost always with good intentions.

This is about knowing that life is no dress rehearsal and that we can create love, pleasure, amnesty and forgiveness. What’s the point in hanging on to the past? Whether it’s something that was painful or delightful, hanging on can keep us from being in the present moment. And the present moment is all we really have.

Choose to leave the past in the past. Forgive yourself and forgive your sweetheart, or whoever needs to be forgiven. Forgiveness is an act of self-love. The one who is hurt the most by our lack of forgiveness is us. It’s easy to forget this and look to another to make things feel better. And it’s not their job. When you really get this, there is so much freedom in this because your experience of love and pleasure isn’t dependent on what someone else says or does. You get to be the author of your life.

If it’s helpful to you, take some time to write down who you are forgiving and what you are forgiving, including yourself. Take as much time as you need and be as thorough as possible. Think of it as cleaning out the inner clutter. This makes more space for love, peace and pleasure to flow. The more generous you are with forgiveness, the more open you can be to recognize the love in and around you.

You can also create a ritual of burning what you have written. Let the flames be a symbol for fully releasing the past and for transformation of the energy. Remember the myth that the Phoenix rises from the ashes? Let the Phoenix of your love, for yourself and others, rise and soar from the ashes.

Now that it’s the end of January and there are many more pearls to add to your necklace, let’s keep going with this practice. Please share any pearls of love and pleasure you feel inspired about, and we can all experiment with them. And I will continue to share more pearls as well. 2014 is going to be a great year!

© 2014 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
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This blog does not reflect the opinions of The Pink Fund, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisers or Volunteers. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for The Pink Fund without compensation.

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