Adornment and Pleasure

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Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer, Breast Cancer, cancer and pleasure, cancer and sensuality, cancer and sexual health, loving yourself with cancer

How do you feel when you wear something that feels soft and sensual against your skin? Do certain colors evoke different moods and feelings in you? Do you dress for comfort, to impress someone, to please yourself or to hide your body?

Clothing and adornment can bring great pleasure if the purpose is to please yourself and love yourself. Most of us don’t think this way when we dress for the day or evening. We may take a quick look in the mirror and check to see if there are wrinkles or if we look fat ~ usually with a critical eye.

What if you dress to please yourself, knowing that different textures, colors and styles can create pleasure? If you did, how would you dress? Would you wear make-up and jewelry?

For today, choose to adorn you for you, as if you knew that you were all that matters. The truth is that you are all that matters. How you feel about you is what creates how you experience life. Try on the belief that you are beautiful and deserve to experience pleasure in all forms, including what you put on your body.

From this perspective, look in your closet and see what draws your attention. Put it on and see notice how you feel… does your skin like what you’ve chosen? How do you look to the loving you? What emotions are you feeling? Are you having fun?

Do you want to further adorn your body with accessories, jewelry or make-up? If so, do what pleases you. How do you want to style your hair? What shoes?

Once you’re pleased with how you feel and look, take yourself out for tea. Go on a date with you. Go to a place that brings you pleasure. Maybe there’s a local tearoom that you like. Go there. Or wherever strikes your fancy.

Wherever you choose to go, go with pleasure in mind. Choose a drink that brings you pleasure as you look at it, taste it and consume it.

Something as simple as pleasing yourself ~ who knew? As you sip your drink, let your mind wander to what else will bring you pleasure. You may be surprised as what comes to mind. Pay attention, because the whole idea is pleasure, my dear!

I’d love to hear what brings you pleasure. Please share with us so that we can all celebrate your pleasure and get more ideas for our own pleasure!

© 2014 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of The Pink Fund, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisers or Volunteers. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for The Pink Fund without compensation.

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Erotic Movement and Flow

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Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer, Breast Cancer, cancer and sexual health, cancer and pleasure, cancer and movement

Do you feel self-conscious about your body and how it moves? Are you awkward in your own skin? Would you like to feel more freedom in your body? More pleasure?

Sometimes movement brings great pleasure. For example, I love taking a brisk walk in a beautiful place, breathing deeply and feeling the motion of my body as I feel the earth under my feet, the sun on my skin and the kiss of the breeze on my cheek. I feel in flow with the earth at such times. That flow brings me great pleasure and freedom.

Here’s another movement practice for an experiment ~

Find some music that has a beat that appeals to your body, music that has you want to get up and move. It might be slow and sensual, have a dance beat, or a primal beat. Play the music loud and stand in the middle of the room. Close your eyes and give yourself to the music. As you stand and breathe, begin to feel the music in your cells and bones. Bring your awareness into your body and let it begin to move to the music. See if you can become one with the music, merging into the sounds and flow and rhythms. Let your physical rhythm be that of the music.

If you think you can’t dance, don’t think of this as dance. It’s a flow, a movement meditation to the sounds and energy of the music. Let yourself go, breathe, move and have fun.

You may find that you want to keep going after the song ends. If so, great, keep going. If you’ve had enough, sit and relax. Either way, when you stop moving, sit with your eyes closed and scan your body. Notice your breathing. Is it rapid, deep and full or shallow? How does your body feel? Tingly? Loose? Tight? Relaxed? Excited? Vibrating? Pay attention to what’s happening and how it feels.

Our bodies want to move. Belly dancing was created as a way to ease the pain of childbirth and to bring women pleasure. There are forms of dance called ecstatic dance that are designed as meditations and move through different beats and rhythms. For some, being in the body in this way is a great pleasure and release. Try it and see what it is for you.

Please share your experiences with us so that we can all learn together.

© 2014 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of The Pink Fund, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisers or Volunteers. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for The Pink Fund without compensation.

The Body Electric and Erotic

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Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer, sexual health and cancer, breast cancer, cancer and intimacy, cancer and pleasure

Did you have fun with a flower or chocolate or something else last week? I hope so and I hope that you’re beginning to experience little flickers (or big waves) of erotic energy. It’s so fascinating when we slow down and open up, to see what pleasures await us.

Do you know that your skin is your largest organ? It is, and it’s filled with countless nerve endings, which provide so much input. You probably already know some ways that this has changed in your body as a result of cancer treatments. Now you may have new or no sensation around scars or surgical sites, neuropathy, different sensations around hair loss and regrowth, to mention a few.

Are you dissociated from your body? It can happen easily as a coping strategy while going through treatment. Added to the dissociation that many women experience sexually, it can feel like there’s nobody home inside your body!

Going through life physically absent is one way, and I don’t recommend it. There’s much sensation and pleasure for us in our bodies and many ways to access these.

This week the invitation is to focus on the sensations in your skin. Take some time to stroke your skin with various types of touch ~ using only the pads on your fingertips very lightly, gently raking your skin with your fingernails, little taps on your skin to wake it up, deeper circular motions like massage, and any others that occur to you to try. Experiment with parts of your body that aren’t often touched including the backs of your knees, your elbows, your calves, and so on.

As you explore your skin, focus your awareness and attention on where the touch is happening and pay attention to the sensations. How does it feel? Do you feel pleasure both with your fingers or hands as well as the places being touched? Do you like touching or being touched better or are they the same? What helps you feel more present inside yourself? What do you love?

Getting to know your skin through touch and pleasure can be surprising. Notice what, if anything, surprises you and what you are learning about you. Please share it with us so that we can learn from you.

© 2014 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of The Pink Fund, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisers or Volunteers. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for The Pink Fund without compensation.

Pleasure in Your Body

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Barbara Musser, sexy after cancer, cancer and intimacy, cancer and self pleasure, sexual health and cancer,breast cancer

Today is about connecting with your body in new ways.  Are you up for discovering some new sensual and erotic sensations? I hope you say yes!

Begin by opening to the possibility of experiencing pleasure through all of your physical senses ~ touch, sight, sound, taste and smell. I suggest that you literally use your entire body and all your senses to experience pleasure.

Let’s do a sensing experiment. For the experiment we’ll explore a flower. Go to a florist and drink in all the sensory input ~ what do you see? How does it smell? How does your skin feel? What do you hear? Any taste sensations? Walk around the shop and let your senses guide you.

Choose a flower or two to take home for the remainder of the experiment. Ask the florist to wrap it in some beautiful paper and ribbon, as if you were buying a gift for your beloved ~ you are!

When you get home and unwrap the flower, spend some time with it. Begin by looking at the flower ~ what color is it? What type of flower did you choose? Is it beautiful? Take in as many visual aspects of the flower as you can and notice your experience.

Next, smell the flower. Wave it gently under your nose and inhale the perfume. Is it sweet? Clean? Pungent? Earthy?

Gently stroke your cheek with the flower ~ how does it feel? Velvety? Soft? Fuzzy? Smooth? Rough? Do the petals feel different than a leaf or the stem? Explore the feel of the flower in as many ways as occur to you.

Taste the flower! Is it sweet? Spicy? Bitter? Moist? Dry? Take a petal in your mouth and chew it gently. What happens when you do that? Do you salivate? Does the scent affect the taste?

Wave the flower near your ears. Is there a sound as it moves through the air?

Take a petal and crush it between your fingers. What does that feel like? Is a scent released that is different from before? What does it sound like?

What is your experience when you involve all your senses? Does your body feel more alive? Are you in your body or have you checked out? Does this seem silly or pointless? Is it sensual? Erotic? Flowers are the reproductive part of plants. Does knowing this affect your experience in any way?

Can you imagine involving all your senses as you explore your own body? What if you explored your hand in this way, using sight, smell, touch, taste and sound? Try it and see what happens, what you experience.

One aspect of eroticism is slowing things down. This allows you to be fully present with whatever you are experiencing. Sometimes we go so quickly that a day can pass by in a blur. What if you spent 5 minutes a day on being present, fully present?

Imagine doing this same experiment with chocolate, or a bubble bath? Please share your experiences with us!

© 2014 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.

For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of The Pink Fund, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisers or Volunteers. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for The Pink Fund without compensation.

You are Your Lifetime Lover

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cancer and love, sexy after cancer, barbara musser, love after breast cancer

It’s February and the subject is love.  We’re awash in Hallmark moments about romance, hearts and flowers and little candy kisses with sweet messages.  Let’s take a deeper look at love, at self-love.

The truth is that love begins and ends with you and your relationship with yourself. You are your primary partner. How you feel about you shapes how you receive and give love. Sometimes we think that we’ll love ourselves when we know others love us. If we don’t feel loved, it’s easy to think that we’re unlovable and that only love from others can fill that emptiness. This is backwards. How we feel about ourselves is what we transmit to the world. When you are in love with you and loving you, you radiate love and it’s irresistible. You are irresistible.

For the month of February, my invitation and challenge is to love yourself fully, to believe that you are adorable, lovable and irresistible. Imagine what your life would be like if you felt totally loved all the time? This is the gift I’m inviting you to give to you.

Each day this month, explore a way to love yourself. Open your heart to you the way you open to the one/s you love most. Be generous with your love because you deserve to be adored. At first this may feel silly or awkward. Stick with it and be creative. Here are a few ideas to get you started ~

  • Write yourself a love letter. Tell yourself all the things you appreciate and love about yourself. Write it on beautiful stationery or a card and mail it. Hint: you can do this more than once and perhaps you’ll send you a Valentine!
  • Take yourself out on a date. Dress up for you so that you feel beautiful and go out for coffee, a movie, dinner or for a walk in a beautiful place.
  • Meditate on love. What does love mean to you? How do you know when you are loved? How can you be more loving with you? Open to receive what comes to you as you sit and contemplate these questions and any others than inspire you.
  • Buy yourself some gorgeous flowers, or send them to yourself. Include a love note with the flowers and when you look at them, remember how much you love you.
  • Each time you see your face in a mirror say “I love you” out loud.

Keep a love journal and each day write about your love practice and exploration for that day ~ what you did, how it felt and what you’re learning about loving you. Keep the journal in a special place and read it often to remind you of your love for you.

Please share some of the ways you are loving you so that we can be inspired by each other!

© 2014 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of The Pink Fund, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisers or Volunteers. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for The Pink Fund without compensation.

Pleasure Possibilities Part 3

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Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer, cancer and romance, breast cancer and love, sexuality and intimacy after breast cancer

Continuing with pearls of pleasure, today’s pearl for opening to more pleasure and love involves a late night love adventure. It’s worth missing a few of those 40 winks for this special surprise…

Wake him up. Nudge her from the shelter of sleep. Pull them gently from bed, outside, to where the moon hangs low to the ground. Take them out where the air is cold and crisp, bundled in warm clothing. “Why?” he says, tugging on a sweater and shoes. “What are we doing?” she asks as you pull the door shut behind her.

“To see the sky,” is the answer. Walk to the backyard or get in the car and drive for as long as it takes. Go where there’s not much artificial light. In the night, when it is quiet and so dark, and the stars fill the sky with their endless abundance. And the moonlight casts shadows beneath its light.

This. This is the present moment. To be here, to see this, to share these moments. Look at the stars, too many to count. Warp your arms around your sweetheart and let the enormity of the universe fill you with love, pleasure and possibility. Give the enormity of your love. Abandon sleep and know that the night sky is given as gift and grace to you both.

Let the endlessness of the sky, moon and stars remind you of mystery and miracles. Love is a miracle and it can come at any moment. All we need to do is open to it because it’s all around us and in us all the time. Let the sky help you to remember. Let it help you remember to be in your body and to delight in the experiences of all your senses as you take it all in ~

  • Feel the cold air on your cheeks and eyelids
  • Hear the night sounds ~ the birds, the breeze, perhaps some animals
  • Open your mouth and taste the air and notice how it feels on your lips and tongue
  • See how the world looks in the dark of the night as you stand with your beloved
  • Notice any scents ~ are there pine trees nearby, or a hint of salt in the air by the ocean?
  • If you’re out in the snow, make a snow angel, or a sand angel if you’re at the beach!

What does the love and pleasure feel like on this night? What memories will you keep to remind you of this adventure? How will you keep your heart and spirit open to love and pleasure?

Think of more ways that you can surprise your sweetheart with love adventures, and take the adventures!

© 2014 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.

For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of The Pink Fund, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisers or Volunteers. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for The Pink Fund without compensation.

Pleasure Possibilities Part 2

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love letters and cancer, pleasure after cancer, Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer, love notes and cancer

Continuing with pearls of pleasure, today’s pearl for opening to more pleasure and love is about writing love notes and letters ~ to yourself or to your beloved. The intention is to use written words to express your love and pleasure in ways that are surprising and that bring delight.

Here are some ideas to inspire you~

  • Using a pad of blank post-it notes, write a message on each that gives a love or pleasure message. You might write, “When I open my eyes and see you in the morning, my heart overflows with love,” “Feeling the touch of your skin on mine makes me purr,” “You are an angel, a messenger of love.” Let the love and pleasure pour out into the words as you write them. Then put the notes on the car windshield, the bathroom mirror, on the computer monitor, places where they will be seen and will bring the experience of love and pleasure as they are read. You can do this for yourself as well as for your partner. Leave them up so that you or they will see them often.
  • Get a large poster board and write a love note on it with colored markers in large letters. Then tape it to the wall outside the coffee shop where your sweetheart goes on their way to work.
  • Make a lunch for yourself or your sweetheart and put a note in it that describes how much you love them.
  • Write on the mirror with lipstick, “I love you!”
  • If you live in snow or sand country, write a love message in the snow or sand and walk by with your honey. If they don’t see the words, point them out so that they know the message is for them.
  • Send a love or pleasure text to tell them that you can’t wait to see them after work or school.
  • Plan a special meal and put a love note on their plate so that they will see it when they sit at the table.
  • Make a card and put it on their pillow with a piece of chocolate ~ this is finer turn-down service than any hotel!
  • For their birthday, make a card and write the number of ways they bring you pleasure, one for each year of their age. Fifty years old means 50 ways they bring you pleasure. Or turn it the other way and write 50 ways you want to bring them pleasure or love. Or do both.
  • Write a love letter where you let the depth of your love flow freely. Be generous and let them know how precious and special they are to you. If it helps, remember what it was like when you were newly in love. Taking yourself back to that time and place helps to re-create it in the present moment.

Let your heart and imagination soar as you tap into the love and pleasure vibrations. Choose to love, and to love freely and generously. It feels wonderful!

© 2014 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of The Pink Fund, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisers or Volunteers. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for The Pink Fund without compensation.

Pleasure Possibilities

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Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer, cancer and pleasure, love mandala, creating pleasure and love after cancer

At the end of 2013 I suggested that you review the year and look forward, all with the intention of creating your Personal Pleasure Plan for the New Year. In the spirit of pleasure and ideas to inspire and create pleasure, the month of January is devoted to offering you some possibilities for pleasure. Imagine that I am extending my open hand to you and in the palm of my hand are pearls of pleasure. As you examine the pearls, play with those that appeal to you. They are all ways to love yourself and your partner more. As you play with the pearls and discover more pleasure, you are creating a beautiful string of pleasure pearls…

There are so many ways to love and experience pleasure. They all begin with the heart, mind and senses. Open your heart and mind to the idea of creating and experiencing more pleasure in more ways. Today is about visual pleasure and love.

Create a love mandala. In the Hindu and Buddhist traditions, mandalas are geometric shapes that represent the universe. The idea is to use your eyes, hands and objects you have around the house to create a love mandala, to remind you of the pleasure of love.

To begin, play some soft background music. Light some candles or incense if that appeals to you. Take a few deep breaths and tune in to your intuition. Ask what to use to make your mandala. It could be paper clips, the petals of a flower, the socks in your laundry basket, q-tips or the segments of an orange.  Perhaps it’s some crayon stubs or scraps of paper, or some dried pinto or kidney beans. Don’t second-guess yourself. Simply allow your intuition and visual sense to guide you as you collect the materials to make your mandala.

Place the mandala parts of a tray and sit and ponder them as you tune into love and pleasure. Then let your hands create your mandala. Feel happy and loving as the mandala takes shape, and be thrilled by your own art and your inner happiness and love.  Let the experience of love and pleasure inside you come out. You may feel surprised. Relax and know that you are creating love and pleasure visually.

Mandalas are creations from the heart and soul and are meant to be seen and adored.  Tibetan monks create intricate mandalas from sand and then destroy them as soon as they are made. The purpose is as a symbol of devotion. Ask you intuition for guidance about what to do with your mandala ~ perhaps you want to share it with your loved ones, perhaps not. Trust what information comes to you and know that it all comes from love and pleasure.

After you have created your mandala, choose to look through the heart and eyes of love and pleasure as you go about your day. Choosing love and pleasure is an intentional act and you can choose it any time.

May this pearl of visual pleasure and love, and creating a mandala, remind you that you have the power and the gift of creating beauty, pleasure and love in any moment.

© 2014 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of The Pink Fund, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisers or Volunteers. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for The Pink Fund without compensation.

About DESIRE

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The heart of desire is a yearning or longing to know ourselves more fully, to be intimate with ourselves. After all, the only partner we have for our entire life is ourselves.  If we don’t experience intimacy and love for ourselves, we can’t really fully receive it when it comes from our partner or someone we love.

What do you desire for you? Inner peace? Freedom? Good health? Abundance? Better intimacy and sexuality? Something else?

How do you call forth whatever you yearn for? In an integrated approach to desire, we combine our senses, consciousness, and all of our being, so that we can approach the fulfillment of our desires.

The vehicle for this exploration is our body. Our body is embedded in our consciousness, so full acceptance of it is crucial for attaining absolute freedom. By igniting our senses, knowing bodily pleasure, and connecting with our hearts and our version of the divine, we begin to set ourselves free of shame, guilt, and whatever beliefs imprison us.

After cancer, bodily pleasure can seem elusive. Things may not work in the same way, parts may be missing or altered, we may have numb or painful areas. Being able to experience pleasure in our bodies is a big part of healing. I’m not only talking about sexual pleasure. Think of how good it feels to have a pedicure or a massage, to literally feel your body again. Many women dissociate or “leave” their bodies during treatment as a coping mechanism. But then we forget how to come back. Take some time to let your body be loved and appreciated in nonsexual ways. What might bring you pleasure? Do some brainstorming and jot down some notes about your ideas, then give yourself the gift of pleasure.

When it comes to being sexually connected to yourself and your partner, a good starting point is to honor and respect each other. You may find that your sexuality has changed dramatically with your cancer treatments. Feeling desirable or desiring your partner may feel like a memory, or it may feel scary. It’s completely understandable, so allow yourself to be where you are, to feel your feelings, and be gentle, to honor and respect you.

In your sexual integrity, desire invites a kind of honesty, a nervous excitement where there’s no rush to cover up desire or push it away, or to make it bigger than it is. This is a tender place, so take some time to recognize what is the state of your intimate and sexual desire. Don’t be shy and do be honest. Sometimes desire is a tiny spark and sometimes it’s a big flame, and sometimes something else. When you speak the truth about where you are, you create intimacy and tenderness. This is the best starting point.

From here you can speak about your love, what you see, what you’d like to do with your partner, whether it be lovely, lustful or lascivious. Listen to what they want. And see where it leads you…

From January 14-25 I’m hosting the Go Forth and Thrive After Cancer telesummit. Each day there are 2 interviews with experts on various aspects of what it takes to thrive and evolve after cancer comes into your life. I’ll be talking with people like Marianne Williamson, the NY Times best selling author and mystic; our own Molly MacDonald about The Pink Fund; Gary Malkin, Emmy-award winning composer about music as medicine for the heart, and many more. It’s free! To listen in, click here to register:  www.cancertelesummit.com.

© 2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of The Pink Fund, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisors or Volunteers. It is not meant to serve as medical advise of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for The Pink Fund without compensation.

Sexy After Cancer ~ Damaged Goods or Deeper Beauty?

By Barbara Musser
sexy after cancer barbara musser mazeNavigating the maze of making big treatment decisions is a painful blur for many women with breast cancer. Something that is rarely discussed is how the treatments impact intimacy and sexuality. Poor sexual function is one of the top survivor issues, which often comes as an unanticipated and unwelcome surprise. Lots of women suddenly become menopausal as a result of treatments. Others lose sensation in their breasts after surgeries. Many feel like they age 20 years in six months because of changes to their breasts and genital tissue. Nothing works in quite the same way. Is this your experience?

There aren’t many good resources available for these issues and it can be the elephant in the room that everyone is ignoring. Doctors say they don’t have time to talk about it. Women don’t know it’s coming so they don’t know to ask about it. Therapists may not be prepared to talk about cancer. It’s a perfect storm that doesn’t go away.

Many women tell me that their sex life wasn’t so wonderful before their cancer diagnosis. Rather than see this as an opportunity to learn some new things and have a better intimate and sexual life, they get resigned and give up on sex. That’s heart wrenching.

Lots of women feel like “damaged goods”. We are “programmed” with a specific and narrow definition of beauty and sexiness and we all “drink the Kool Aid” of this programming, rarely feeling that we are media-pretty, desirable or attractive enough. Our culture places high value on physical beauty. Women’s breasts have been a focus of beauty for millennia. Many women have breast augmentation or reduction for cosmetic reasons, and good cleavage is a symbol of great sex appeal. Pinup calendars, Barbie dolls, bikini bathing suits, décolletage, push-up bras, and the list goes on. We can’t escape our fascination with breasts. Breast cancer amplifies this and our sense of self-esteem, self-confidence and beauty can plummet, especially if we know we don’t fit the standard of beauty.

Breast cancer treatments change the shape of our breasts. Surgery, even a biopsy or lumpectomy, leaves scars, or with a mastectomy, we may have portions or all of a breast removed.

How does all this leave us feeling as desirable and attractive women? Do you wonder about this? I did. I made a very long, deep, and painful dive into how fully I believed that beauty has to look a certain way. I definitely didn’t have a media-pretty body, certainly not now with deformed breasts. I was angry, scared and grief stricken.

I explored ways to accept, forgive and make peace with my body, which was radically altered by cancer. The process brought me to my knees because it required that I look into my own essence to see what I’m really made of. It’s not a faint-hearted path and it was felt impossible at times. I had to face all my beliefs about me, most of which were in place long before I realized I was so “programmed” about the nature of beauty, desirability and sexiness.

For me this became the portal into loving myself.

During my personal work I unearthed the real nature of beauty, radiance and sexiness. Underneath that, I started to love myself, by not comparing myself to this media image of beauty and sexiness.

This Sexy Saturdays blog will explore the aspects of what it takes to have a happy and healthy intimate and sexual life after breast cancer. Come back next week and every Saturday for this adventure!

©2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.

For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com.

This blog does not reflect the opinions of The Pink Fund, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisors or Volunteers.  It is not meant to serve as medical advise of any kind.  Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for The Pink Fund without compensation.

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